Is It Okay To Fear Your Mother’s Day Gift?

Mother’s Day as defined by Wikipedia (real reliable right?), “is a celebration honoring the mother of the family, as well as motherhood, maternal bonds, and the influence of mothers in society.” Seemed pretty accurate to me so I went with it, don’t begrudge my citations.

I have many amazing females in my life (you know who you are!), that while they are “maternal” figures, they are not my mother. Unfortunately my mother passed away some time ago, and I haven’t really celebrated the holiday much since that time in that I don’t recognize a single female as “mom.”  I do celebrate all womanhood. I have been known on occasion to say that woman are some of the meanest creatures on the planet, which is very true, however, women can also be extremely powerful in lifting one another up and making each other stronger.

In my family in particular as the only female I am learning the value of “woman,” and I increasingly look forward to the precious moments when I am surrounded by females that don’t expect me to wash their laundry, cook their dinner or scrub their toilet. The women in my life don’t belch (audibly), pass gas (that’s the dog, I think he’s rotting from the inside out) or leave the toilet seat up (that’s the human males lol).

Now I say some of that in jest (not the dog’s digestion issues though, those are true) because my menfolk are a huge help with things like cleaning, and they don’t “require” a hot meal every night, they get by with sandwiches and frozen pizza at least once a week.

But I am learning as a “boy mom” that once they hit a certain age they seem to multiply? More boys show up I mean. To play, eat and basically cause chaos and havoc. There are constantly wet towels, wet boy underwear, wet bathing suits and just WET stuff hanging inside and outside of my house. This week as a matter of fact there was a pair of boy boxers hanging in the tree outside my front door because they thought it would be “funny” to throw them up there. I’m serious, what the heck!!

There are Nerf bullets on every conceivable surface, under every sofa and behind every TV. There are frequent arguments about who does what better, and I am almost positive they have spitting contests, even if I haven’t caught them yet.

In talking to Gabe (my boy) about Mother’s Day he said he was having a tough time figuring out what to make me for the holiday. He’s a big artist my kid, loves to draw and “craft” things out of toilet paper rolls and gobs of my tape. Anyway in jest I said, “Why don’t you make me a sandwich.” And oh holy hell he lit on that idea like a flea on a dog! I’m so scared right now (well I guess I was scared since today is Sunday, and I’ve probably already had my encounter).

This is a child you have to remind to wash his hands after playing outside in the mud, force to shower after being in the pond (“It is WATER mom!”) and embarrass for not brushing his teeth, so a typical boy. And he’s going to MAKE ME A SANDWICH that I have to eat! And like! WHAT!!

Any who know me know that I don’t handle other people’s food prep well. A restaurant I can handle, but other people’s kitchens, I’m very choosy (call me weird, I don’t care, talk to my stomach). I don’t think I ate anything that Amanda Scott cooked and brought into the office until I had known her for a solid two years, and I think she’s probably one of the most conscientiously neat people I know.

So letting a potentially dirty 9 year old fix me a sandwich that he may or may not drop on the floor in the process, dust off and call the “5 second rule” on already has my gag reflex in high gear. I guess y’all will find out Monday if I make it into work or if I’ve developed food poisoning from my sandwich.

Don’t get me wrong, I love being a boy mom. I’m fairly certain I couldn’t handle girl hormones, Barbies or bows. But y’all should definitely be praying for me and that I don’t hurt his little feelings by retching his “present” up in front of him. Fingers crossed. Oh and Happy Mother’s Day to all the mommies out there, whether biological or not, you are truly a special breed!

-Leah Poole, CEO of the Liberty County Chamber & CVB

The Right Blend Blog is written by three different authors employed by the Liberty County Chamber/CVB. As we are able, we rotate weeks and each write about our individual experiences, opinions and let our writing reflect our personalities and creativity. All content provided on The Right Blend blog is for informational purposes only. The owner of this blog makes no representations as to the accuracy or completeness of any information on this site or found by following any link on this site.