The Day I Wore My Underwear Inside Out…and Backwards
As school starts again, for those of us with kids, you’ll appreciate the following blog….or at least I hope so. There’s not too many people who would publicly embarrass themselves by admitting the above, however, if the little bit of levity inspired by my story can lighten your load, make you smile and/or you can relate then my job is done, I have put into words something you wouldn’t admit, but which you understand and may have done yourself!
Before I had a child I never really understood the plight of the working parent, my how times have changed! After 9 years of being “mom” I fully appreciate and applaud the working mom/dad and respect the challenges that they face in keeping home and work running, all while trying to raise a little person at the same time. I will admit that my little guy will probably have a bed time of 830pm until he’s 18 just because you gotta have some “down” time and as they get older they need more sleep right? Or is it they need more showers? I always get that confused, whichever, they’re probably both true.
And some days are better than others, which we have all discovered. I have co-workers who come in harried, often without make up on, with shirt tails hanging because little cherub #1 had explosive diarrhea that ruined outfit #1 and the change from 1 to 2 required more hands than an octopus when you have a screaming kid and you need to look professional. So if you walk into our office and see a mommy applying eyeliner, using her cell phone camera as a mirror, my advice would be to WALK ON, possibly tip toe, and DON’T EVER ASK HOW HER MORNING WENT! Words of wisdom, true story.
I have found when doing the parent thing and working that as much as you may try to be organized there will be some monkey wrench thrown in your plans. I promise there is no child that gets from the front door into the car slower than my son. I think he takes snail pace to a new s-l-o-w. I can walk back and forth from the house 4 times with my arms full of book bags, breakfast, gym clothes for later, the baseball bag, put the dogs out, give them fresh water, forget my phone and have to jump out again and he will have POSSIBLY made it to the door of the car by then. From there he has to balance his iPad with his charger (seriously balance), open the door, slide inside and buckle a seat-belt, which could take another 2-3 minutes. Yes, I am already in reverse and backing out of the driveway most mornings before he shuts the door.
I digress. One particular morning in a mad flurry of activity to get it all in gear and be at school on time, look semi decent for work, do the active parent thing and make breakfast, make lunch and still get to work on time I got dressed and hauled buggy with very little attention to what I was wearing other than nothing was too short, too tight or too revealing. After dropping Gabe off and getting to the office I went straight to work, back-to-back-to-back meetings with no chance to even go to the restroom until well after lunchtime.
You can imagine what I discovered. I had wondered off and on why I was so squirmy in my chair during all the meetings where I was supposed to be actively participating and just attributed it to stress and lack of sleep, a parent’s mainstay. Nope, wrong. I had my underwear on inside out, not such a big deal, not uncomfortable really, just odd when they’re kinda lacy and the lace is on the inside, not the outside and thus scratchy. But they weren’t just inside out, they were also backwards. For a guy this may not mean much boxers are pretty much the same in both directions, for a lady it does……use your imagination people. Well at that point it’s too late to do the whole turn ‘em the right way thing because I’ve worn them all day and grandma always preached you wear “clean underwear” and I don’t think that counts so I went the rest of the day with the wonky drawers but with a little glow of secret amusement (OK I told the whole office, not so secret) that I was human and for that day at least I was definitely not the windshield I was the bug.
So the moral……..kids will make you crazy but being without them wouldn’t make you mom or dad. Oh and no one will know your underwear stories if you don’t tell them!
-Leah Poole, CEO of the Liberty County Chamber & CVB